Spurs thrash Manchester United

In a bizarre afternoon of football, Spurs put six goals past Manchester United.

Yes, you read that right, SIX!

Jose Mourinho would have been hoping to get one over on his previous employers but even he couldn’t possibly have fathomed an outcome such as this.

United did start on the front foot, winning a penalty which Fernandes converted as he always does. That was about it from the hosts as they proceeded to play possibly the worst first half of football we might see in the Premier League this season.

“O when the Saints go marching in” goes the chant the Spurs supporters usually belt out at full volume from the stands. The Spurs Saints in their lily whites took the chant to heart, marching into the home of the Devils in a full-on crusade.

Ndombele restored parity in double-quick time after a terrible mistake from the Manchester United skipper who looks like he’s worth £8 rather than £80 million.

Maguire then proceeded to fluff his lines once again, drawn out by Harry Kane’s superb movement and then fouling the England captain, who played a delightfully inventive quick free-kick to set Son away. Son made no mistake, sprinting past Bailly with a vigor that belied any injury doubts and then dinking the ball past De Gea with the deftest of finishes.

It went from bad to worse for Manchester United as Anthony Martial was given his marching orders for a Martial art style chop to the face in retaliation to Erik Lamela’s initial sneaky jab. VAR deemed Lamela innocent, and Martial walked the plank as United’s ship capsized.

Some more shambolic defending from the Maguire and co. led to goals for Kane and Son, Spurs scoring for fun, and United dead and gone.

The second half of proceedings continued in a similar fashion, Solskjaer making some inconsequential halftime changes in a bid to bring more energy into a deflated and defeated Manchester United side.

MANCHESTER, ENGLAND – OCTOBER 4: Ole Gunnar Solskjaer looks on as his Manchester United are ripped apart by Jose Mourinho’s Tottenham Hotspur side. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED BY THE EVENING STANDARD.

It didn’t work, Spurs scored again, this time through Serge Aurier. Ben Davies replaced Son later on in the half and won a penalty for the away side. Harry Kane stepped up and fired past a distraught David de Gea who was almost inside his goal when the spot-kick was taken, perhaps PTSD from the Crystal Palace incident two weeks prior.

Spurs put six past Manchester United at Old Trafford, a right thorough thrashing that would have silenced the home crowd had they been present.

Ole Gunnar Solskjaer will need a reaction from the players and fast, but for now, United head into the international break battered, beaten, and perhaps broken.

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